Wednesday, November 25, 2020

Crunch, Crunch, Crunch (Thanksgiving in Republican Zombie Land, Part One.)

 *Awk* Don't eat me. ~Mr. Cotton's Parrot, Pirates of the Caribbean, Dead Man's Chest.

We have now reached the long-awaited point where American conservatism smacks hard into the wall of reality.

And apparently, these fucking people's immediate response has been to back up, rev the engine hard, and hit it again, and again, and again, and again.

And I should add, they're doing this for Donald Trump, of all fucking people.

And since they didn't have the sense to bring much of anything else with them, they're starting to eat their own...and in fact finding that they like the taste.

For once in his miserable, shitty life, Erick is right. These people do need to repent.

But they've become so blinded by partisan fanaticism that they can no longer recognize God.

We've already seen the MAGA rats turn on Fox News, because their independent Decision Desk called Arizona for Biden on election night and none other than Rupert Murdoch stood by his own people as he damned well ought to have, and told Trump what he could go and do with himself.

Now-former Trump lawyer Sidney Powell attacked Georgia Republican Governor (and fanatical Trump ally) Brian Kemp and accused him of being in league with Bernie Sanders and the late Venezuelan dictator Hugo Chavez for doing his job and signing off on his state's election certification.

And the last three weeks have seen more cockamamie ideas and conspiracy theories than I can count, because of these fucking people's inability to accept that Trump lost the election fair and square, even when he did everything possible to lose it.

And this happened because conservative talk radio, Republican donors, think tanks and TV media spent 50 years in a race to see who could say more crazy shit to keep the base charged up and voting, and their money flowing into the engines of right-wing-infused capitalism like so much leaded gasoline...with predictable results for the consumer.

And then, Republican donors and politicians alike always presumed the mob could be ginned up whenever needed and put away when it was inconvenient, never realizing that their gutting education and promoting Fundamentalist Christianity was eroding the base's ability to see what was going on for what it was, and to actually fill that role. With the rise of FOX News in the 1990's and conspiracy theorists in the early 2000's  and the Tea Party after the election of Barack Obama, the base became a continuously-baying mob, ever more strident in its demands for blood, ever more militant in its desire to strip-mine itself and the lives of its own people to further improve the lot of people like Charles Koch.

The motherfuckers who pushed a radical libertarian agenda beyond the bounds of all reason or sense are...surprised that the GOP went 'more radical than promised.'

Color me unimpressed by this.

They were fine with the horde of decaying, ravenous red-capped zombies they created when it was marching, arms outstretched and moaning "MAGA" towards other people...but now that they see it might eat them alive too they're like "Hey wait a minute, you promised us you wouldn't be this radical."

Play stupid games, win stupid prizes. As somebody who was ran out of conservatism by these chucklefucks that you motherfuckers radicalized, I'd just like to say I not only have no sympathy, I have negative sympathy, my lack of sympathy warps the space-time continuum. I am an Event Horizon of "I don't give a fuck."

Welcome to the party, pal.

Some of us have been stuck dealing with this shit for years. 

Some of us got ran out of belief systems such as conservatism and Republicanism that were in fact once known for great things, but now leave only a legacy of bad debts, unpaid, and a horde of decomposing, shambling monsters where almost half of our body politic used to be. Spare me your feigned self-awareness and remorse, Charles, you knew damned well what you were doing. You just never thought it would get pushed to the point where it threatened your finances, your ideological priors, your life or the vitality of your political movement.

Like Big Government, the MAGA Zombies were just fine when they were only a weapon you could point at somebody else.

But right from the beginning, with these fucking people, pretty much anything only had value if it could be used for their personal profit or weaponized against somebody else, in truth, the less deserving their target was, the better they liked it.

Seriously, ever notice that the only parts of history that people like Tom Cotton ever seem to actually give a fuck about are colonization, genocide, murder, slavery and war?

And it's funny how these people never seem to consider that the Native Americans might have a perspective on the Mayflower and the Massachusetts Bay Colony that would differ from their own. Basically, the Wampanoag saved the Puritans from starving to death and within a couple generations, after a couple of bloody wars, the Wampanoag and their rivals of the other tribes who'd allied with the Puritans and become known as the "Praying Indians" were nearly extinct and their land belonged to their killers.

It's like Malcolm X said, Black people didn't land on Plymouth Rock, that rock landed on them.

But don't worry, Tom Cotton is just fine with that part. This is exactly why he didn't care when Trump showed up, pulled the guts out of the Republican Party and crawled inside it like a Tauntaun.

In fact when that happened, Tom started looking for ways to turn it to his advantage.

And that's all Republicans are mad about, that they weren't able to turn this situation to their advantage enough.

And because they did that, and because one and all they cannot Constitutionally or legally find a way to save Donald Trump, there's a non-zero chance that there's going to be serious blowback on them. For example, Republican voters in Georgia are threatening to boycott the Georgia runoff because Trump lost the state and neither of the Republican candidates could do anything about it.

The Republicans are trapped in the department store, with a horde of red-hat wearing zombies scratching at the doors.

Good luck, motherfuckers.




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