He WAS A Crook (Left Behind Is A Lie II, Seventeen.)

Some people will say that words like scum and rotten are wrong for Objective Journalism — which is true, but they miss the point. It was the built-in blind spots of the Objective rules and dogma that allowed Nixon to slither into the White House in the first place. He looked so good on paper that you could almost vote for him sight unseen. He seemed so all-American, so much like Horatio Alger, that he was able to slip through the cracks of Objective Journalism. You had to get Subjective to see Nixon clearly, and the shock of recognition was often painful. ~Hunter S. Thompson, "He Was A Crook" published June 16th, 1994 in Rolling Stone magazine.

Just saw this awhile back.

Tucker Carlson, trying to claim that Watergate was some kind of a "Deep State plot" because Nixon "Questioned the Deep State..."

Wut?

How?!?!

Why are Republicans still trying to rehabilitate Richard Nixon?

He's been dead since 1994.

I mean, don't get me wrong, I get it. Nixon basically defined the modern Republican Party until Trump came along...and now that Trump is in decline, and I think they know it, Republicans are busy playing all the old hits until something better turns up.

Gimme that old time religion, gimme that old time religion, it's good enough for me...now.

The thing I find quite interesting about all this, is that today likely neither Nixon nor Reagan would be welcome in today's Republican Party, not just policy-wise, but in terms of beliefs and conduct.

Nixon did a lot of stuff...like going to China and negotiating with Mao...that he only got away with because he was Nixon, and then only at the time. 

I've had shitty old Republicans say it to my face that they thought Nixon was a liberal, and they felt like the Left dominated things in the 1970's. I mean, shit, these fucking people still bitch about "Having been miserable for 50 years" because something something Gazpacho.

So, other than the fact that Roger Stone is basically the one calling the shots, what is there?

The fact that Nixon was a miserable son of a bitch?

I legit think if there's anybody could be a more miserable son-of-a-bitch than Tricky Dick...well, either Donald Trump or possibly even Ron DeSantis has him beat.

I mean, what's even the damned point?

That he seems to have had a personality cult, like Trump? Who dafuq was in it?

My grandparents absolutely hated Nixon, my Grandma...who often voted Republican herself...had a cache of various jokes and stuff that mocked old Tricky Dick and she still had that stuff 30 years later. I'll give you a hint; I saw a lot of these same jokes recycled against Obama and later used against Trump.

And since they habitually voted to cancel each other out, I know one of my grandparents voted for Nixon. (The only Presidential candidate they ever both voted for was Ross Perot.) They still didn't like old Dick very much.

Honestly, looking at the historical record it seems like hardly anybody actually liked the man.

I mean seriously the best thing you can really say about Nixon is that the Religious Right wasn't really that big of a political thing yet, and did not canonize Tricky Dick the way they did Reagan.

So, yeah;

How miserable of a shit do you have to be to look at somebody like Richard Milhous Nixon and say "That's my hero?"

And, seriously, when Nixon resigned, Tucker Carlson was like five years old, maybe. Shit, I was born during Watergate, and I was not yet a year old when Nixon quit.

So yeah, for the same damn reason as I get annoyed when I see people still bitching about Jane Fonda, I'm going to ask again...

It's been damn near 50 years now, why are these people hanging on to this crap, especially since the people making the biggest show of it all either weren't born yet or were really little kids at the time?

It's been 50 years, He WAS a crook!

Get the fuck over it.

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Sixteen

Bonus Content

Joe: For the last time, I'm pretty sure what's killing the crops is this Brawndo stuff.

Secretary of State: But Brawndo's got what plants crave. It's got electrolytes.

Attorney General: "So wait a minute. What you're saying is that you want us to put water on the crops.

Joe: Yes.

Attorney General: Water. Like out the toilet?

Joe: Well, I mean, it doesn't have to be out of the toilet, but, yeah, that's the idea.

Secretary of State: But Brawndo's got what plants crave.

Attorney General: It's got electrolytes.

Joe: Okay, look. The plants aren't growing, so I'm pretty sure that the Brawndo's not working. Now, I'm no botanist, but I do know that if you put water on plants, they grow.

Secretary of Energy: Well, I've never seen no plants grow out of no toilet.

Secretary of State: Hey, that's good. You sure you ain't the smartest guy in the world?

Joe: Okay, look. You want to solve this problem. I want to get my pardon. So why don't we just try it, okay, and not worry about what plants crave?

Attorney General: Brawndo's got what plants crave.

Secretary of Energy: Yeah, it's got electrolytes.

Joe: What are electrolytes? Do you even know?

Secretary of State: It's what they use to make Brawndo.

~From the film Idiocracy.