The Golden Asshole (CPAC 2021: All We Want Is Your Money And Your Soul.)

Albert: No good?

Armand: Actually, it's perfect. I just never realized John Wayne walked like that.

~From The Birdcage

As I start to write this, Trump is half an hour late for his speech at CPAC. (And I just saw that he's going to be at least an hour and a half late.)

Seriously?

Yet these fucking people will literally bow down and worship Donald Trump, when he can't even be bothered to show up on time for his own fucking speech.

Republicans, y'all have issues.

I mean, for fuck's sake dude has literally nothing going on these days, you'd think he'd already be there just for all the props and photo ops and stuff like that.

You'd think he'd be there just for something to do.

But of course Trump is a lazy shit who can't help but show his contempt for basically everybody in how he conducts himself. He's a weapons-grade gold-plated asshole who doesn't even care about his own supporters and if that's not clear at this point, I don't know what in the hell will make it so.

But here's this guy, literally bowing to a golden idol of Trump all the same. Why people want to debase themselves for this motherfucker is something I'll never understand.

How to get to hell in one easy step, I guess. What they think they're going to get out of going there, I don't know.

And you can literally tell these people they're going to hell and they don't care.

In fact, if you're the wrong kind of person, they'll go to hell just because they think they'll get one over on you by doing it.

And you can literally be somebody who's job it is to have been there and done that, who has no reason to not tell them what is true, and they won't listen anyway.

In fact that might even make them double down. How dare you *Checks Notes* be a Reporter or somebody else who's job it is to find shit out, and tell me.
Why?

Because conspiracy theories are not about the truth, they're about agendas and obscuring the truth and protecting the egos of the dumb fucks who believe in this shit.

I'll never understand it.

That has got to be a hell of a way to live. Ignoring the evidence of your own eyes and ears seems like it would be pretty damned difficult after awhile.

These are people who'd literally rather live under a Nazi type military dictatorship, or bow down before our nation's enemies than be free, for the most part because they think they'll get to spite some mostly-imagined "Other" by doing so, or because they don't want to be free if some person that they don't like is also free.

Or as I first said all the way back in 2015, they'd be perfectly fine with being slaves, so long as they get to be a better class of slave than some of the other slaves. 

And the would-be slave masters are perfectly happy using a bunch of circus-stunt, professional-wrestling like bullshit to manipulate the mob. That's pretty much what CPAC has turned into.

That, and a hell of a lot of M4M sexual ads on Craigslist.

Which is fine, if these fucking people would just be honest about it. It's 2021, nobody cares, and hating gay people doesn't make you righteous, it just makes you a hater.

Maybe it's just me, but I don't understand why these people seem to base their lives entirely upon the imagined opinions of others, and then think they're somehow coming out ahead by performatively doing or feeling the exact opposite.

I don't understand this shit and I used to be a conservative Republican.

It's like if Black people, gay people and/or Democrats get to live in civilization too, without having to wear some sort of hair shirt for doing so, these fucking idiots would rather go out into the deep, dark wilderness and dance barefoot around a fire shouting "Unga Bunga" while they wait for their Witch Doctor to come out of his cave.

I'm sorry, but I don't fucking get it. I don't value hatred of or opposition to other people more than my own life. I sure as hell don't see anything conservative about that.

And I sure as hell don't see anything conservative about believing in a bunch of absolute horse shit just because that's what feels good at the time.

The world is an uncomfortable place, and it's messy and it challenges you and it's very often complicated and difficult to understand, but embracing those challenges, and the diversity and difficulty of life? That's how you be free.

All too often, as we've observed with this week's CPAC convention, these fucking people are just overgrown children, desperately acting out to get attention, and they like Trump because they see him as "Daddy" or some sort of father figure.

Well, maybe it's just me again and yeah I've lived my own life full of enough dysfunction and shit, but if you want somebody like Donald Trump to be your father, I can't help you. And I've no wish to try.

But perhaps even more than that, I think you have no right to force your stupid psychological issues on the whole rest of the world, and we certainly have no obligation to put up with you trying to. In other words, grow the fuck up.

Because if you don't, the world is full of people who are clamoring to take your place and move forward while the world just passes you by.

Does that sound cruel?

It's what I was taught, by a different generation's conservatives, back when that word meant something else, apparently. 

The Russians...and others, including domestic elements like the far-right and the ultra-wealthy aren't trying to manipulate our politics because they like you and share your goals, they're doing it because they want to take what you've got, no matter how little it is. They want to take your spot or eliminate you as competition or grind you underfoot and when you enable or support people like Donald Trump, people who have nothing but contempt for you and can't even be bothered to show up on time for their own damn speech, you let them.

You're saying "Rob me" and "Take my shit."

Does that sound crass, does that sound cruel? It's the truth.

It's not "Cancel culture" or "The Left" that will unman America, it's the willingness of American conservatives, and particularly American conservative white men, to bend over and take it up the ass from anybody who talks stupid and makes them feel validated for their petty stupid childish grievances, when all too often they have no one but themselves to blame for their own inadequacy and their own problems, bringing in Unga Bunga tribal bullshit and blaming other people for your problems doesn't do one thing to change the face you gotta look at in the mirror when you get up in the morning.

In the end, you have power over your life, but you have to fight to keep it. If you're a free person, in your mind, only you have that power, whatever happens, you have the capability to change your circumstances.

Too many people be trying to fight in the wrong direction. Too many people have accepted a kind of learned helplessness, where the only things they're allowed to do is try to blame others and keep them down.

And we wonder why people can't face themselves and commit suicide or overdose on drugs or whatever? Look at the crap we've allowed one of the two main political movements in this country to become!

Too many of us don't even understand what it is to be an American, or a Believer, or a Man, or a Woman, and I'm not talking about the gay people or the Left here.

And this confusion has turned conservatism into a Tijuana donkey show. I'm fucking sick of it.

I used to be a Republican, I contributed to this crap. You bet your ass I'm angry. I want the time back that I put into trying to make things better and thinking this was the way. Fuck these motherfuckers.

Too damned many people are just willing to believe whatever they're told, without even checking to see if it might be a lie, so long as it validates their biases or their feelings.

But if somebody lies to you, they don't have your best interests in mind and they're sure as hell not really trying to make you feel good about yourself.

They're trying to rob us all blind, so they can go spend the money on hookers and blow and enjoying themselves at our expense. Conservatism didn't start out like Donald Trump, but he has consumed it.

And the best the rest of us can hope for is a vaguely humiliating escape as we realize our pockets got picked.

Senator Kevin Keeley: [in drag] No one will dance with me. I think it's this dress. I told them white would make me look fat.

Barbara Keeley: [in female drag] What about me? I'm just as pretty as the rest of these guys! ~From The Birdcage.