Witch Doctor.

I sometimes imagine, in the not-too-distant future, a landscape of bombed-out cities, flooded coasts where the tops of skyscrapers have been turned into vast bird-shit covered concrete island chains and logged as dangerous obstructions by whatever boat people, merchant traffic, maritime forces or pirate fleets as exist in this time. Further inland, vast stretches of abandoned rural farmhouses, gas stations, highways and strip malls, looted Wal-Marts and other crumbling detritus of a generation or two past. Oh, certainly, there's a pocket of civilization here or there...an educational institution (itself likely shrouded in some degree of mysticism) a military outpost, a religious community built around a Church, Mosque, Synagogue or some sort of temple, or a perhaps a small town, or any combination of the above...likely powered by solar panels and such, linked to the rest of the world by satellite communications, and certainly in any case protected by armed men and women, likely both educating and trading with some local farmers or nomads. Likewise, here and there, there are gangs of bandits and other malcontents, riding around on horseback or in swarms of Toyota "Technical" trucks (and in the latter case, constantly as hungry for ammunition and fuel as other material needs) armed with AK-47's or whatever that era's cheap, durable and widely available rifle is, as they attempt to pillage and plunder everybody else.

In that world, somewhere, probably more common than most...there would still be those who failed one way or another to make the leap from poverty to adequacy, or (maybe more appropriately for such a time) from depravity to civilization, who don't meet the Darwinian requirements of banditry. It is not hard for me to imagine in the deepening darkness and overwhelming silence that would likely characterize night in this world, under vast oceans of bright stars and the soft glow of the Milky Way, their cries might be heard for miles as ragged figures danced around a fire, waiting for the local holy man to come out of his cave.

I imagine such a figure as an old man, wearing a ragged, stained suit and a "Make America Great Again" hat, emerging from the shadows, to the sudden, awed silence of the tribes-people, raising a worn Bible that he cannot read, and speaking words that sound important...purely for no other reason than that they sound that way. I imagine this old fool going on and on, until some offering of a captive or scrounged supplies is brought forward...then mumbling some kind of half ass blessing before scooping up the "offering" and retreating back into his cave.

Why do I think this?

People like this guy, right here. James Dobson, who once preached about beating a stubborn wiener dog in order to prove his spiritual "Authority" (and who I'm honestly surprised is still alive, truth be told) are out there telling "Conservative Christians" to organize a "Day of Prayer and Fasting" in order to prevent Trump from being impeached.

As if God gives that much of a shit about American politics? We as a nation can't seem to go more than 24 hours without insulting the Almighty's intelligence. I can't imagine He has any more of an interest in putting up with these people's shit than the rest of us do.

Here's a pro tip from somebody who was taught this stuff a long time ago: When imagining God doing anything, or asking or begging or imploring any aid from Him, it's probably helpful to assume that the Almighty Creator of the Universe is smarter than you are.

Then of course there's Paula White, who bills herself as Trump's "Spiritual Advisor" as if somebody who publicly stated that he didn't need God's forgiveness could plausibly have a need for such a thing.

But of course, she wants you to send her money, up to a month's wages in fact. Or [she gravely intones] "There will be consequences."

Here's the kicker: She's trying to say you'll somehow get rich by giving her all your money.

...Or there will be "consequences?"

Are you fucking kidding me? Show up at somebody's house with a baseball bat and speak the same words...and depending on the homeowner's inclination you're either being shot in self-defense or you're going to jail for extortion.

So why is it Okay for some bleached-blonde dumb ass to wave a Bible at people and demand the same?

Listen here, the Bible speaks directly against this kind of crap and those who practice it.

John 2:13-16New International Version (NIV)

Jesus Clears the Temple Courts

13 When it was almost time for the Jewish Passover, Jesus went up to Jerusalem. 14 In the temple courts he found people selling cattle, sheep and doves, and others sitting at tables exchanging money. 15 So he made a whip out of cords, and drove all from the temple courts, both sheep and cattle; he scattered the coins of the money changers and overturned their tables. 16 To those who sold doves he said, “Get these out of here! Stop turning my Father’s house into a market!”

Got that?

Listen here, the Truth is free, it is fairly Bipartisan in political terms (if such terms can be said to apply at all) and it doesn't go around asking for money. The only nation it favors is Israel, and there's some debate as to whether that applies exclusively to the ancient nation or includes the modern one as well...and all the political leaders it endorses are either mythical or dead. We do not in any way, shape or form live in "Biblical" times nor are the End Times any closer to getting here than they were yesterday, a week ago, or a thousand years ago. The Bible also says that it is not Man's business to worry about that, either. God is a force of nature and He's not on any one "Side" nor beholden to anyone nor willing to be used as a stick by members of one party to beat those of the other.

It's just that damned simple.

It's also not hard for me to imagine that God is getting sick of our bullshit, and very likely to start punching back before long.

This politicized and Prosperity Gospel mumbo-jumbo is getting to be about as believable as that scene in Police Academy Four where Hightower scares the new recruits by dressing up as a Voodoo witch doctor and Tackleberry chainsaws his way out of a body bag.

Come on, people, this is the 21st century, If I...who was a kid attending Christian schools in the 1980's when that movie was new in theaters...can successfully be taught to have enough critical thinking not to believe in superstition and witch doctors, what the hell is your problem?

I believe in knowledge and science and theology, not witch doctors with gold-plated churches.

We can reach for the stars, or we as a nation can continue to hand real money to idiots in return for some imaginary pot of gold.

The very fact that I can type this post and you can read it is all the evidence we need about whether or not reaching for the stars produces results. Come on, people, it's time we start doing better than this.

“I have a foreboding of an America in my children's or grandchildren's time -- when the United States is a service and information economy; when nearly all the manufacturing industries have slipped away to other countries; when awesome technological powers are in the hands of a very few, and no one representing the public interest can even grasp the issues; when the people have lost the ability to set their own agendas or knowledgeably question those in authority; when, clutching our crystals and nervously consulting our horoscopes, our critical faculties in decline, unable to distinguish between what feels good and what's true, we slide, almost without noticing, back into superstition and darkness...

The dumbing down of American is most evident in the slow decay of substantive content in the enormously influential media, the 30 second sound bites (now down to 10 seconds or less), lowest common denominator programming, credulous presentations on pseudoscience and superstition, but especially a kind of celebration of ignorance” 
~Carl Sagan